Don't Settle

I feel like my whole life I have been settling, as well as watching those closest to me settle for less than they deserve. In my early 20's I became aware of that. I would try to change my habits but wouldn't really get anywhere. The grass was always greener somewhere else. It's been years of undervaluing my worth and being a constant people pleaser. Keep that up and you become drained, feeling more worthless as time goes on. I am still a work in progress in all areas of my life, and always will be- but the biggest area of improvement I feel like is putting a price to my value. That I will learn in time in this business.

One example you could say where I wasn't valuing my worth was in men. I have been one of those girls who always had a boyfriend. Although not proud of that, I now understand my choices. I didn't feel okay on my own, like I wasn't enough. And because of my lack of self confidence and worth, that resulted in me spending time with anyone (pretty well) that batted an eye at me..

If a boy broke up with me or I broke it off, I'd have a new boyfriend in a week. I didn't know how to be alone. Nor wanted to be.

I'm the romantic, relationship type. So every guy I would just hope was my Prince Charming and that would be it. I'd convince myself that he was the one and that all of my worries would subside. Love was a good distraction for me in my later teenage years because life was so messy. That "in love" phase was thrilling and basically the only thing that made me feel good back then.

Later on, I started realizing I had patterns. And certain men coming into my life, that even though were good people, were all really the same.. They all had their addictions that I would try to fix. I would work on myself the best I could in every relationship, but being with them, I felt held me back. Until there was a breaking point where I would leave because maybe I thought the grass was greener... Maybe I thought I deserved better.

So YA, I've dated a lot. But I meant well. I didn't mean to hurt the guys I broke up with. I like to think we bettered each other's lives or learnt lessons while being together, and that we are apart of each other's journeys to finding ourselves.

All those breakups lead me to "the ONE"- AND I mean it guys. I finally found him. I like to think God or the Universe knew that I finally valued myself. I finally felt I could live on my own and didn't need anybody. Through everything life threw at me, I was unstoppable. God knew I was ready for my soul mate.

Life lesson: don't settle in relationships. You know damn well when it doesn't feel right, but you think- "Well how can I start over now?" It is better having that fresh chance sooner rather than later, because you are that much closer to being treated with the right man BECAUSE you did the right thing. The Universe will thank you for following your gut/ intuition and leaving when you knew it was wrong.

Work. Now how many times have I settled in jobs?! A freaking million. You can say I have job hopped, I am a serial job hopper. But in all realness, I'd hope for the best when starting any job. I did see myself working there longer than I always did, but never forever. I still to this day haven't found my forever job, and that is because I am creating it. I am a creator. Someone not meant for having a boss over top of me. I was a great employee I'd say. It just wouldn't take me long to realize this was so not for me. I worked mostly serving jobs and HATED the late nights, HATED serving drunks. I loved running around though and the business of waiting tables. I was good at it. I'm good with people- especially the elderly and kids.

But I knew serving went against who I was, I was just going back to it for the money.

Not that it was all a waste of time at all, I've made amazing friendships in different jobs and learned a lot.

I have worked in a pipe-mill, grocery store, newspaper joint, golf course(s), gas station, a tree lot for a Christmas season. There isn't much I haven't tried- and doing that you are able to figure out what you do not like. After all these short ventures, I am able to look back and see that I was trying, I was desperate. And although life hasn't been easy on me, I can proudly say that I am far from lazy. I've always been lucky enough to find work when I needed it. And I've found that when I wasn't ever working, I quickly would feel unsettled and almost depressed. Because it feels damned good making money for yourself!

Ideally in what you are meant to be doing though.... You know like they say, "love what you do, and you'll never work a day in your life". Well, I'm working on that.

My last job there were so many things I didn't agree with, and I couldn't believe I went back to something I knew I hated. I dreaded going into work and didn't even care if we'd be busy or not to make my night go by because I was just honestly over it. Didn't take me long- maybe 2 or 3 months to feel this way. I quit. Without a job lined up. Not the smartest decision by me, but I knew God had something new in store for me right away. I trusted in the Universe to bring it to me and in the mean time, I wrote down the kind of job I wanted. The kind of work I wanted to do, hiring myself out. No boss. I was running the shots. The next day an add pops up on Facebook as soon as I open it, I give the lady a call, met her the same day. Boom, first client. Part time hours. That gives me time to start working on my Wellness business after just finishing my IIN Program. I was thrilled.

Now nothing about needing to be somewhere at any certain time excites me because I'm one of those girls who can't be early, and hardly on time. This client allows my schedule to be so flexible I don't feel that pressure of punching a clock. I couldn't be more grateful. I have taken on a couple other "side jobs" and it's so great to fit around my life. The work I do keeps me fit and active. While building my business requires me to do a lot of computer work. So it's a perfect balance right now. To be able to be paying my bills while working on my dreams is so exciting to me and I feel empowered.

Take away- Don't settle in your job, your career, your work. If you hate it- get something else for the time being while you work towards what you really want. If that is to become an Entrepreneur, there are certain times where I hear that you just have to go all- in. But a lot of times you can work it on the side building it up, while going to a job or hiring yourself out to do things you don't really mind!

Please work harder on yourself than your job. Too many of us work ourselves to death making someone else rich and I'm sorry but I'm over that. I'm ready to work my butt off for myself and my family and to support and love those who need me.

Clothes. I settle in life with what I wear for sure. I've never thought of myself as stylish. One of the things I dread is getting dressed in the mornings actually. I will wait until I have to leave the house to do so. And in my current work- it really doesn't matter what I look like. So in the future, I want to work on not settling in my wardrobe. "Look good, feel good", as they say. We all have it in us to look incredible in our clothing. You don't have to wear what's "in style", just wear what you feel your best in! I love dressing up. Especially doing my makeup beautifully and putting on a nice outfit. It is not an everyday thing for me though. If I can get away with wearing lounge pants and sweatshirts every day, I would, and I am right now..

But that is an area of my life that I want to be upping on.

Now what is yours? What is an area in your life that you've been settling? And how can you set some goals and plan your way out of that rut. You are better than that. In fact, you're going to be better tomorrow than today. Because that's the kind of people that read this stuff. Go getters. Non- settlers. We want better, we want to be better. At least I do, and if you hadn't thought that way before this blog. I hope you're thinking more that way now.

You got this babe. Now go be that better version of yourself.

xo Jas